If you have spent most of your life trying to change the way you are, the options are that you have either not tried hard enough or that you have used the wrong techniques or therapists. Another option, though apparently frustrating, is that you cannot change the way you are.
Changing the way you are is like being a walnut tree and wanting to change in an orange tree. It is not possible. Yes, I understand, some people expect you to be an orange tree, and you are very fond of these people. And, of course, if you truly love them and also believe in the power of manifestation, everything is possible. Then you can spend your whole life trying to change into an orange tree. In the end, as long as your trust and efforts have been unbending you may succeed in sprouting tiny, desiccated and husky oranges. Yet, if some people want real juicy oranges from you, they will continue to be unhappy about you, while the people who loved your walnuts will be unhappy. So what’s the point of all this change? In the end you have made everybody unhappy, especially yourself.
Hence do you want to try the third option? Accept yourself for who you are, whether others like it or not. That can be your radical change, Accept to be a walnut tree and make your walnuts available for those who love them. You will make many people happy, including yourself. And, also, make friends with orange trees. Direct those who love oranges to your orange trees friends. You will make everybody happy and perhaps also get a commission.