A few seconds of grievances can be so lethal that you forget all the days or years of joy you have had in a relationship.. Yet, also the opposite is true, a few seconds of joy can be so healing that you forget all the days or years of misery you have had in a relationship.
Hence, in the end, what matters in a relationship is what you can remember and forget.
The problem is that our human perception is set in linear time, and we value experiences in a chronological order. This means that we give priority only to the latest development. Hence, if the latest seconds in a relationship are painful, the relationship will be acknowledged as painful, no matter for how long it has been pleasant before.
If we could journey through linear time, just as we can move through space, we would be able to select only the happy experiences in our life and avoid all others.
Yet, we indeed journey through time all the time. Our memory and conscious attention holds our capacity for time-travelling. The memory of the experiences we decide to focus upon determines the quality of our life.
© Franco Santoro